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It doesn’t even matter that their current partner is horrible, doesn’t understand them, or have the time of day for them. The reality is that a person poached is more likely to cheat in the future, not susceptible to outside-initiated change, and is currently undeserving of your trust. Most of us could even manage to convince ourselves that this relationship is something different for them too. Another saying we all know but still manage to question the validity of is that you cannot change somebody that doesn’t want to be changed.
Finding a romantic partner is only one of many goals you can have at once.
“Mate poaching,” or stealing someone away from their current partner to claim as your own, is not the answer to your happiness.
In fact, I'd been going about being single all wrong.
When I started seeing my husband, aka the first guy I wasn't embarrassed to tell my therapist about, I was gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn't known about dating before then.