By Tracy Achen Are you looking for some dating tips to ease your way back into the singles scene? Its uncharted territory, but it can be very rewarding to step outside your comfort zone.Dating after your divorce can be intimidating not only logistically, but also emotionally. Dating as a single parent is a whole different ballgame than it was before you had kids. It can sometimes seem like everyone has an opinion about whether you should date or not.[Feb 2016 Update: Dating a Divorced Dad – Version 2.0 Updated] Let’s Hook Up, Wait. We’ve both got some history under our belt, kids, and some requirements for what’s OK and what we simply won’t ever do again.(Red Flags, we like to call them.) As we navigate “dating” again, we quickly realise the rules are very different.Don’t miss the exciting conclusion of this single dad’s journey: A Dad In Love, Again (I’ve got two kids and a full-time job, but I’d still like to find time to be with someone.) 1. I will admit that getting back out there, for me, as a man, initially was about sex. (Kids, work, and all the other stuff we’re just remembering we love to do) have to be the priority. That might be a stretch if you’re playing the field, or not sure about what you want. By the time we get past 1st-base I’m letting you know that I am into you.Today, I think sex can get in the way of learning if you like the person. I can be several different sizes of Boston Terrier, but if you’re into whippets and poodles, we’re probably never going to be a match. It may take several months to get in our first four dates, but… And then we’ve got all the negotiations about how and when we want to see each other. Fearless Commitment To Monogamy At first divorce may seem like we’ve gotten the key to the kingdom of sex again. And if you want to go further, we’ve got to establish some mutual objectives.I am a single mother (and only parent) to an 11-year-old boy and we live in a suburb of Boston. On my blog I talk about my life (sometimes in the dating scene), my son, reviews, and share things that I love all while trying to find the humor in it.
And nothing against the non-parents in the group, but I’m so wrapped up with my kids, that if you don’t have that same passion and joy, we’re probably going to have to look for things to have engaging conversations about. I think that initial attraction is something that we can’t really control or completely predict, but I also don’t think we can do without it. But as we begin navigating our time together we’ve got to be able to talk about whatever we’re feeling. (And weren’t you looking for someone who would be a great mother? She’s incredibly patient, but doesn’t have a lot of tolerance for bad behavior. And if you’re going to do more than lay around in bed with this person, you’d might want to go easy on the seduction moves at first. (Let’s not start with jumping in bed or looking at vacation calendars for a while. (If we’re about to sleep together I can assure you we’ve had this conversation.) 8.Get to know if you like talking to, as well as looking at your potential partner. But if you slow the drive to the bedroom you might avoid getting mixed up in something purely physical. (I’d like to keep getting fitter, but my joy is genuine.) In several previous online dates I found myself sitting across the table from very attractive, usually younger, women who had nearly nothing in common with me. I’m Into Moms If my date doesn’t have kids, they probably don’t have much in common with me. Feeling the Feelings Men are often accused of not feeling their feelings.And the purpose of this article is not to make the argument for courting versus dating or vice versa, but rather to give some advice on making healthy dating decisions, if you find yourself venturing into the dating world. My goodness, I can’t tell you the number of single mothers that I have counseled that moved far too quickly from a divorce or break-up into a new relationship. Overwhelmed and exhausted with the weight of the world on your shoulders, why not find a man to fix the loneliness? List them out long before you decide to date again. The devastation of a divorce or failed relationship can take years to heal. The worst thing that could happen to yourself or your precious kiddos is to have to go through it again. When she arrived back to her dorm room that evening, he had sent her a dozen roses with a card that said, “Thanks for the amazing first date.” As time passed, she went out with him a few more times and God slowly changed her heart, as she sought the will of her Heavenly Father. Thank God, she didn’t let her emotions ruin God’s good thing for her life. The Holy Spirit gives us a “gut check” when things aren’t quite right. It is the leading and guiding of the Spirit that gives you clear discernment. Jennifer Maggio is the happily married mother of three who has a passion for the single parent family.